Compiled by Tim Wesemann
Whether you’re sporting a smile today or you’re in desperate need of one, here’s a gift to you - more smiles as you serve our Savior and his people. Do you know some folks who need a smile today? Consider sharing one with them simply by your presence, a phone call, or the blessing of a kind word. The Lord loves you and he is on your side! May his joy be yours!
Discovering New Things
I made quite the discovery recently. I thought the dryer was shrinking all my clothes. Turns out it was my refrigerator.
I also discovered I was a poor driver. I realized that on my last trip when Siri said, “In 400 feet, pull over and let me out.”
The Pun Has Just Begun
- What is the difference between a well-dressed person on a bicycle and a poorly dressed person on a unicycle? Attire.
- I always wanted to be a Gregorian monk, but I never got the chants.
- A local geometry teacher was taken to the emergency room today. She sprained her right angle. (I don’t know about you, but I think that’s acute pun.)
- I saw a woodcutter interviewed on TV. He said he stretched every morning before starting work. He introduced himself as a limberjack.
- I’m guessing that if a termite wanted to lose weight, he could eat more lattice.
- I just returned from a trip to an extraordinarily nice ranch. I gave them 5 stars for horsepitality.
- If my dentist pulls the wrong tooth, is it accidental?
- A book fell on my foot and I can only blame my shelf.
TFS: Texting for Seniors
BTW: Bring the Wheelchair
TTYL: Talk to You Louder
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
FWIW: Forgot Where I Was
IMHOA: Is My Hearing Aid On?
ROFLACGU: Rolled on the Floor Laughing and Can’t Get Up
ILY: I Lost You
LOL: Laughing on Lipitor