by Tim Wesemann
March is an eclectic month. It’s a time of change. Winter is attempting to move out while spring knocks on the door. The church year is traveling on its way to Easter. For sports fans, baseball’s spring training overlaps with basketball’s March Madness. But no matter the changes going on in your life, I encourage you to move forward with the cross of Christ leading you. And let’s enter the (non-basketball) courts with praise and declare this month March Gladness on account of the sacrificial love of our Savior! What a blessing it is to serve the Lord and his people, living in his grace while generously sharing it with others. Enjoy this eclectic set of smiles (and maybe a few groans)!
Diamonds Aren’t Always a Girl’s Best Friend
An Irishman by the name of O’Malley proposed to his girl on St. Patrick’s Day. He gave her a ring with a synthetic diamond. The excited young lady showed it to her father, a jeweler. He took one look at it and saw it wasn’t real.
His daughter was shocked at the news. She found it hard to believe her future husband could be so cheap. When she confronted him, he responded with a smile, saying, “It was in honor of St. Patrick’s Day. That’s why I gave you a sham rock.”
New Dog Crossbreeds
Collie + Lhasa Apso = Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy transport
Pointer + Setter = Pointsetter, the traditional Christmas pet
Pekingese + Lhasa Apso = Peekasso, an abstract dog
Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel = Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as mountain air
Terrier + Bulldog = Terribull, not a good dog
Bloodhound + Labrador = Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly
Collie + Malamute = Commute, a dog that travels to work with you
Malamute + Pointer = Moot Point, the type of dog that . . . oh, well, it doesn’t matter anyway
Playing with Words Again
- I’ve been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants: Feefiphobia.
- A man has been arrested for striking a would-be burglar with a Teflon-coated frying pan. The police say they’ll have a hard time making the charges stick.
- I was at a funeral recently. A man walked up to the newly widowed lady and said, “Do you mind if I say a word.” She encouraged him to share. He stood in front of her and the congregation and said, “Plethora.” Returning to his seat the widow stopped him and said, “Thanks. That means a lot.”