Smiles as You Serve

by Tim Wesemann

Cold weather and I aren’t the best of friends. I’m not one who loves winter. But I do love being warmed by the message of love in the Bible. I can easily do an online search for the number of times the word love is found in Scripture. But it’s much more than a single word. God’s love for his people can be found on every page. You find it in his words and actions. It’s in his love reflected by his people onto the lives of others. And it’s even in the framework of the boundaries he set for his people with his Law. The Father’s love is seen so remarkably and perfectly in the gift of his Son’s life, death, resurrection, and ascension.

God’s love can warm the coldest of days while bringing good news and frequently causing smiles. While considering that love, I hope you enjoy some smiles from these fun words as you serve the Lord and his people.

Valentine’s Date

I asked a friend if he had a date for Valentine’s Day. He responded, “Yes. February 14.”

Out-of-Control Self Control

A man walked into a bakery carrying a pie box. He approached the clerk at the counter.

The clerk said, “Yes, sir, what can I do for you?”

The man replied, “I want my money back! I bought this pie here yesterday.”

The confused clerk asked, “Where’s the pie?”

The man said, “I ate it! ALL of it!” The clerk asked him why he thought he should get his money back if he had eaten the whole thing.

“See here on the box? It says it’s supposed to feed six people! I am NOT six people!”

Your Monthly Dose of Wordplay

  • I didn’t think wearing orthopedic shoes would help, but I stand corrected.
  • I’m not a big fan of archery. It has too many drawbacks.
  • I once thought about cloning a new, more efficient brain, but then I realized that I was getting a head of myself.
  • I’ve started telling people about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It’s all about raisin’ awareness.
  • I get a kick out of ruining the plot of Dorian Gray for people. Never gets old.
  • In grammar, double negatives are a no-no.
  • Studies show that cows produce more milk when the farmer talks to them. It’s a case of in one ear and out the udder.

Elementary School Valentine’s Day Humor

What did the painter say to her boyfriend?
“I love you with all my art!”

What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day?
“I’m stuck on you!”

What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
“I find you very attractive.”

How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring.

What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?
“I’m sweet on you!”

What is a ram’s favorite song lyric on February 14th?
I only have eyes for ewe, dear.

What does a man who loves his car do on February 14?
He gives it a valenshine!

What did the boy bird say to the girl bird on Valentine’s Day?
“Let me call you Tweet-heart!”

Remember those simpler days?

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