When I turned in this FunFest issue to my editor a day late, I told her, “I used to simply crastinate, but I got so good, I went pro!” She didn’t seem to appreciate my attempt at humor, but I hope you do!
My wife and I recently took a trip to South Africa to visit our youngest son and his wife, who are serving as missionaries there. One day, a group of children wanted to ask our family questions about life in the United States. When the kids found out our son and his wife had recently married, a couple boys yelled out, “How many cows did you have to pay for her?” “How many cows was she worth?” Inquires from people of a different culture can leave a young couple speechless.
A Sunday Drive
A teenager with a learner's permit offered to drive her parents to church. After several frightening incidents, they arrived at the church safely. As the teen’s mom got out of the backseat, she exhaled deeply and said, “Thank you!”
Her daughter replied, “You’re welcome, Mom.”
Her mother paused, gave her daughter an “are you kidding me” look and said, “That wasn’t intended for you, Honey. I was talking to God!”
The Peace and Love of God
As parishioners filed out of church Sunday morning, one told the pastor, “Your sermon reminded me of the peace and love of God."
The pastor was quite touched. "No one has said anything like that about my preaching before. If you don’t mind my asking, why do you say that?"
"Because it endured forever."
An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over the Walmart store.
"Walmart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Walmart?"
The woman replied, "Then I'll be sure my family visits me twice a week."
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