Smiles as You Serve
Compiled by Tim Wesemann
Summer is finally upon us and so is Father’s Day! Let’s have some fun while considering the special men in our lives. Summer is also a popular time for weddings, so let’s have some pun with relationships, too. You know, every season is a good season for playing around with words!
I hope you find many reasons to thank the Lord with a smile and a heart of praise today. Serve with joy!
Nice Try, Dad
I thought I’d save some money at the amusement park so I purchased a child’s ticket. The ticket-taker at the gate said, “Sir, I can’t let you in. You bought a child’s ticket.” He wasn’t amused when I replied, “I’m a child of God.”
Silence, Dad . . . Please
My kids took me out to eat after church on Father’s Day. I told the server I’d like salmon for lunch. My son, obviously embarrassed, leaned in and whispered, “Dad, the L is silent.” So I quickly corrected myself, acting as though I was just trying to be funny. “Actually I’d like that order for unch.”
Relationship Pun Fun
- What's the difference between a pun and a dad joke? A pun can make you groan, but a dad joke goes even father!
- I saw an ad that read, “Television for sale: Only $5.00. Volume stuck on loudest setting.” I thought, “Wow, I can’t turn that down.”
- Do you realize that if you clean a vacuum cleaner, you’re a vacuum cleaner?
- I had a conversation with a carpenter about what kind of material to use for my basement walls. When my wife came home, I told her I spent the afternoon participating in a panel discussion.
- My son lost his contact lens even though I told him numerous times to keep an eye on it.
- I wanted to watch the World Origami Championship on TV, but it was on paper view.
- There was a sign in the party store’s piñata aisle: “You buy it, you break it.”
Relationship Word Play
- Two florists got married. It was an arranged marriage.
- I met my wife when I backed my car into hers. Yes, we met by accident.
- My daughter and her boyfriend went to a party dressed as a barcode. It was their way of telling their friends they were an item.
- I met my future wife when we were kids on the same T-ball team. We hit it off right away.
- I overheard one black widow spider telling another one that she met her husband on the web.
- My friend was going to marry a gardener, but she realized he was a little rough around the hedges.