February Smiles
Smiles Feb 2017

February Smiles

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SMILES AS YOU SERVE

Compiled by Tim Wesemann

It’s February - a month for groundhogs, valentines, and daily reminders of God’s love! With that in mind, pop your head out from under the bedcovers every morning and you’ll find yourself living in the shadow of the cross, loving the Lord who loved you first. By the way, if anyone asks if you have a date for Valentine’s Day, respond, “Yes, February 14.”

Valentine’s Dinner for Two

A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. He decided to ask her out for Valentine’s Day and wondered if his mom had any suggestions for their date.

His mother had an idea: “Why don’t you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your apartment for a home-cooked meal?”

He thought this was a great strategy, and a week later, the woman came to dinner. His mother called the next day to see how things had gone.

“I was totally humiliated,” he moaned. “She insisted on washing the dishes.”

“What’s wrong with that?” asked his mother.

“We hadn’t started eating yet.”

A Girl Can Dream, Can’t She?

A woman woke up and told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s Day. What do you think it means?”

“You’ll know tonight,” he said. 

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled The Meaning of Dreams.

Christian Love Lines

  • While reading the book of Joshua, I wondered how many times I would have to walk around you to cause you to fall for me.
  • My favorite book in the Bible is Numbers. Speaking of numbers, want to exchange ours?
  • If you’re looking for a knight in shining armor, I just so happen to be wearing the armor of God.
  • Hi, I’m Will. And I’m quite sure I’m God’s Will for you!
  • I don’t think I have the gift of prophecy, yet I see you in my future.
  • Call me Pharaoh because I won’t let you go!
  • You make me feel like Samson after having his hair cut off—weak in the knees.
  • Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from Gilead. (Hey, it worked for Solomon!)
  • Is your name “Esther”? I feel you were chosen for such a time as this.

 

For the Love of Puns

  • The evasive seamstress could make you a new pair of pants . . . or sew its seams.
  • No matter how much you push the envelope, it will always be stationery.
  • If a judge loves the sound of his voice, expect a long sentence.
  • For breakfast, a boiled egg is hard to beat.
  • Last week my Dalmatian ran away. Thankfully, he was spotted two blocks away.
  • If you ever break a tuba, don’t panic. You can fix it with a tuba glue.
  • The best way to carve wood is whittle by whittle.
  • Three men on a boat had among them four cigarettes, but no way to light them. They threw one cigarette overboard, and the whole boat became a cigarette lighter.
  • I shouldn’t have been surprised when the first thing the lumberjack did when he bought a new computer was to log on.

 

 


You are welcome to copy this article for one-time use when you include this credit line and receive no monetary benefit from it: © 2017 CTA, Inc. Used with permission.


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