January Smiles
Smiles Jan 2017

January Smiles

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Compiled by Tim Wesemann

All of us at CTA pray you had a blessed journey to the manger to worship our Savior this Christmas. By the Spirit’s leading, let’s now join the shepherds in glorifying and praising God for his gift of Jesus. Let’s spend the New Year sharing his news of grace and salvation with others. What a joy to serve such a wonderful Savior!

We also thank God for his gift of humor and Savior-created smiles in the New Year. As you joyfully serve the Lord and his people, surely you’ll see a few smiles pop up on faces around you. Enjoy these smile-makers today and be sure to share them with others!

A Classroom Epiphany

During a writing assignment at school, a third-grade student walked up to his teacher’s desk and asked if she knew how to spell piranha. She told him she was wasn’t sure. To her delight and surprise, the student decided to put his mind to finding the correct spelling. He knew his teacher loved when students used the dictionary instead of just searching on the classroom computer. So, the boy walked down the row of desks toward the bookshelf when a classmate stopped him and whispered, “Why bother to look it up? She doesn’t know how to spell it anyway!”

News, Questions, and Observations for the New Year

  • It was a sad and disappointing day when I discovered my universal remote control did not actually control the universe (not even remotely).
  • If prisoners took their own mugshots, would they be called cellfies?
  • Wouldn’t a better name for a vet be a dogter?
  • When our feet fall asleep, why not refer to them as coma toes?
  • It would be a lot more fun to call insomnia resisting a rest.
  • I started a petition to rename the English Channel, the BB Sea.
  • I no longer have a toaster—or at least I don’t call it that. I refer to it as a tanning bread.
  • I saw a dog in a store today. Oddly, the dog didn’t have a tail. Then I realized the reason he was there in the first place. It was a retail store.
  • My mechanic renamed his car-repair business Auto-Correct.
  • By the way, did you hear that the man who created auto-correct died? His headstone includes the words May he restaurant in peace.

Oils Well That Ends with a Smile

Trying to control her dry hair, a lady treated her scalp with olive oil before washing it. Worried that the oil might leave an odor, she washed her hair several times.

That night when she went to bed, she leaned over to her husband and asked, “Do I smell like olive oil?”

“No,” he said, sniffing her. Without missing a beat, he asked her, “Do I smell like Popeye?”

Saving the Blessed for Last

A vacationing couple visited a small church near their hotel. They took a seat in the second pew. A few minutes later an usher tapped the husband on the shoulder and whispered, “This pew is saved.”

The husband smiled and replied enthusiastically, “So are we! By grace through faith in Jesus!”

You are welcome to copy this article for one-time use when you include this credit line and receive no monetary benefit from it: © 2016 CTA, Inc. Used with permission.

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